Affirmation
by Spoiled Sweet
Summary: A lesson on cuddling leads to admissions leads to affirmations. No pairings.


**Affirmation**

* * *

"But what is the function of this action?"

"Does there have to be one?"

"There has to be some sort of social or biological reason. Sakura?"

"Hmm… don't hold your arm so stiffly. Shift your shoulder—yeah, like that."

Sai scowled at the top of her head as she wriggled and shifted and eventually settled with her head back against his shoulder and her legs stretched out in front of her, her heels propped on the edge of the coffee table. He had an arm around her and at this proximity he could smell her shampoo. It was a light scent and he wondered, with a smile sometimes, if she refrained from wearing perfumed things entirely for missions or because half of her friends and patients had heightened olfactory senses she didn't want to irritate. The latter seemed most like her. She was never as worried about missions as people.

"You did not answer me yet. What is the point of this particular exercise?"

Sakura tipped her head back and rolled her eyes as she smiled. "Cuddling is a social thing. Physical proximity is just a way of feeling attached and connected to _someone_; to confirm that we're not alone. Between mothers and their children it's called skinship. And I suppose it's biological too. Humans are social creatures and are driven to be close to other humans and even non-sexual contact releases endorphins." She shrugged. "We all need it to some extent. Some people are more physical than others, it usually depending on their background and how they were raised. You might notice that Naruto is a very physical person."

"I have, which is odd to me. How can he crave something that he was not raised with?"

"But that's it, isn't it? It's the one thing he's never had. He was never told that it was bad or that he shouldn't want it, like you were. He's going on instinct and need." She smiled, a bit sadly. "Naruto has always craved recognition and even still he needs it on the occasion to remember that he isn't alone anymore, I think. It goes back to that need to feel connected."

Sai frowned contemplatively at the ceiling. Then, after a while he asked, "This is not a sexual advance then?"

"Am I hitting on you? No." She snorted. "You asked me what cuddling was. I'm demonstrating. There is a very distinct difference between sexual and physical intimacy."

He hummed quietly in reply and tipped his head to look at her again. "Allowing someone into close, physical proximity is a means of expressing your feelings for them, is it not?"

"In a way, yes, but it doesn't always have to have a sexual undercurrent. Sometimes when you like someone, you just want them close. It applies to friends as much as it does family or lovers. Just in different contexts."

He smiled. "So you like me."

Sakura laughed. "We've been on a team for six years together and I haven't killed you yet, I thought that that was proof enough." She looked up at him. "What about you? I can't imagine that ROOT encouraged close, physical connections with anyone."

"They did not," he agreed with a hum. "Physical connections are just as distracting as emotional ones; proof that ROOT cannot provide everything that is needed to flourish. Even now I cannot imagine being… comfortable with everyone at this proximity." He glanced at her. "This is, in a way, a show of trust. Correct?"

She smiled at his uncertainty. "Yes. It is a way of showing trust and encouraging it." She laid a hand on his leg. "I trust you, so I let you into my personal space. In stabbing range, even."

Sai nodded. "That is something to consider as well," he murmured. "Our profession in itself does not encourage this. We are supposed to be free of personal bonds, of things that might limit us or hold us back. Konoha might encourage teamwork and camaraderie, but the principles are the same."

"Which is why this is all the more important," Sakura reasoned. "You may be opening yourself up to an attack by allowing someone this close, but consider it a calculated risk. Having people you love keeps you strong. It gives you something to come home to."

For a long time, Sai said nothing in response to this. Instead, he tipped his head to allow his cheek to rest against her crown and began to rub small, firm circles into her shoulder with his thumb. She smiled. More human every day, more understanding, more comprehension of the things that had been stolen away from him; Sai was getting closer to normal with every determined step.

"I always thought that I would die alone."

Sakura inhaled sharply as pain lanced through her at the words.

"I never understood why that bothered me." Sai's voice was low, thoughtful. "It seems like an odd thing for a man without personal connections—or any concept of such things—to fear after so many years of _living_ alone." He took a breath. "I still am, a little. I have left dying men behind before and I always wondered…" He sighed. "It would be ironic now, I suppose. To find friends only to… to end the same way I began."

Silence followed this and remained, blanketing them in a thick, unbearable miasma. Or that's what it felt like to Sakura, who was so horrified she felt something in her break for him again, like it had when it first occurred to her what ROOT had really done, what they had really taken from him.

"Sai?"

"Hm?"

She had to clear her throat first to speak again as the urge to cry nearly overwhelmed her—how she managed to hold her tears, she'd never know. "I won't let you die alone."

He smiled faintly. "You cannot promise that."

Sakura tipped her head to look at him. "Sai. I'm not making a promise." She squeezed his knee gently. "I'm telling you: you will not die alone. I won't let that happen. So don't worry about it anymore, okay?"

Sai stared at her and then audibly swallowed and nodded. "Okay."

She patted his leg gently and snuggled closer to him, trying to shake the chill that his words had shot down her spine. There was no doubt in her mind that she would have wilted away in ROOT, long before she was of any use. She wished for a way to tell him that someday, to make him understand just how much stronger he was that the rest of them and that he had nothing to be ashamed of when he fumbled with emotions and empathy.

"Sakura-chan, I brought the—uh… what are we doing?"

Sakura and Sai both craned their heads back to look at Naruto over the back over the couch, her with greater difficulty as the man's forearm restricted movement in that direction. "I'm teaching Sai how to cuddle," she replied.

Naruto cocked an eyebrow at this doubtfully for a moment and then shrugged and threw himself over the back of the couch, rolling, and then landing with his head in Sakura's lap and his legs draped over the arm of the sofa. "What?" he asked, at Sakura's questioning look. "I'm helping!"

"By doing what exactly?" she snorted.

"I'm a part of the demonstration!"

She rolled her eyes but moved a hand to rest on the blond's chest as he closed his eyes and settled in. Sakura inhaled and then exhaled slowly, comforted by the smell of aftershave and the weight of Naruto's head and shoulders in her lap and Sai's arm around her shoulders. It was a rare, peaceful moment between them, the kind that she was always determined to absorb and lock away for later.

"So, is this technically a threesome?"

There was a beat as the words settled in and then Sakura slapped a hand over her face and Naruto began to howl with laughter. He shook uncontrollably with guffaws, to the point where he inhaled some spit and then rolled to the floor, coughing, laughing, and crying into the carpet all at the same time.

"Sai, you are not just a moment killer, you are a moment _assassin_," Sakura sighed before hoisting herself to her feet. "I'm going to start getting food around. Kakashi-sensei is coming right?"

Naruto gasped something in the affirmative.

"Good. Ino said that she'd have Shikamaru and Chouji here at six," she went on. "The others won't be far behind. When you two are done assing around, I could use some help in the kitchen."

Naruto flailed a hand at her in understanding and Sai smiled.

"Is it right to let Sakura prepare things for her own birthday party?" Sai wondered when the girl disappeared.

The blond flopped over onto his back and shrugged. "Probably not, but that's why Ino's comin'." He lifted his arms to fold them behind his head. "What were you and Sakura talking about before I came?"

The pale boy's lips twisted a little. "Dying alone."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at him. "_Pshaw_, why you gotta worry about that?" he wondered. "You got us, Jackass."

Sai smiled and opened his mouth to reply when a voice from the kitchen abruptly cut him off. "Sakura? Why are you doing this? It's _your_ birthday! Argh! Where are those two lazy asses you call teammates? They had better be doing something to help!"

Naruto blanched and jumped up into a crouch. "I bet there's something we could be doing to help outside where Ino can't get us."

"Agreed."

* * *

1. I... don't know. This just popped to mind this morning. I've been wanting to write something prominently featuring Sai, so here you go.

2. Blind Spots has been updated for all of those who care or would like to read something Neji/Sakura.

3. I hope all of my east coasters managed to stay safe during Irene. Much love to everyone.


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